RSS Feed

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Heart or the Brain !

There was this guy named Chuck. He was insane. Rathar a psycho. Tall, thin, long spike hairs, fair & a drug addict. Sometimes he talks to himself in front of the mirror. Senseless talkings. He talks to his organs. He talks to his hairs. He talks to the walls of his room. He talks to no one else. One day he decided not to talk to himself but rather be a good listener to what his organs had to say. He organized a competiton, kind of a debate. The contenstants were his brain & his heart. The prize was, whosoever will win the debate, will be treated very nicely for couple of months. The idea is to see who is more efficient, better & have more importance inside his said he was insane !!!
So he introduced the first contestant……please welcome ladies & gentlemen(refered to as other organs)…..the brain, yes …the mind….a round of applause ladies n gentlemen.
The next one is…..Heart…..let's have it for him guys !!

"Who the fuck is he? This is no competition at all. He will have a heart attack today", said the brain.
"A warm good evening to everyone", greeted the heart with a smile.
"You know you have increased your value today cos’ you are competing with me", taunted the brain.
"Dude, chill….take it easy, I’m the most important part of the body hence the most valuable", replied the heart.
"Most important part? R u kidding me fucker? You are the only reason 2.5 million people die every year. Getting attacks every now n then…..sometimes making poor people pay so much on your by pass surgeries… are fucking cost-consuming", said the brain.
"Well, you are one of the factor, making people think all the time…..useless things….stressing them out….results in high pressure of the blood….harming all the other organs with no reason at all", confirmed the heart.
"What rubbish ! I’m the one who tells what is right & what is wrong. I’m the one who makes the person active all the time, I make a person think of funny things to spread smiles all over, I let him say those beautiful words which spread love all over…..talking about useless… are useless", confirmed the brain.
"Who do you think incept the feelings of love, feelings of humour…its me dude ! What happen to you when our beautiful counterpart eyes see a gorgeous girl…..i try to create warm feelings, feelings of oneness, friendship & closeness…..but all of a sudden your dirty filthy thoughts starts to pour in & make testosterone flooding all over the body. And what happen at the end….with these filthy thoughts you make a fool out of a person", highlighted a strong point by the heart.
"First of all, its not always like this…but I agree to this fact cos’ I care for other counterparts in the body too….they need this kind of blood rushes now & then. How will you understand you illiterate emotional-fool…huh !!", replied the brain.....continuing....."Atleast my one night stands are far better than low-intense feelings you create which eventually results in broken relationships", said the brain. 
By the way, yours is a 72 beats per minute….what happen to you when suddenly something went wrong….something terrible…you start beating like an electronic drum. Almost killing a person then & there. Why don’t you take it easy?, why do you make life hell? & make a person coward? Any answer to that you little pumping-fucker !, questioned the brain.
Heart started feeling a little know....emotional fella !!

"It’s a warning… abilty to sense something wrong might be happening. A sense which u’ll never understand", said the heart. 
"Ofcourse I can’t understand ….cos’ its damn senseless", shouted the brain.

"I'm Loving it !! Ha ha !!", Chuck expressed.

"I’ve heard enough of bull-shit from you, I wont bear it any more. Lets talk sense now. As all of our body counterparts are listening to us, lets have a vote. Lets see how much good will you’ve made all these years & it’ll decide who wins", said the heart.

Now that's an interesting move made by the heart. Brain went for a deep thinking there. But the brain smiled, may be he has something in his mind, & said, "Yes, lets do the voting."

12 counterparts were selected who’ll be eligible for voting. Those 12 were eyes, ears, nose, tongueteeth, lips, hands, feets, artries, veins, liver, intestines.

Eyes voted brain & convinced ears & nose too. What a start brain got. 3-0. It was arteires who voted for heart first. Followed by liver & intestines. 3-3Hands went for the heart, whereas feets went for the brain. Now left were tongue, teeth, lips & veinsTongue said brain but teeth & lips said heart. 5-6. Heart is leading. What a situation! Left is veins, a close-counterpart of the heart. Brain was sure that veins will vote for heart & brain will lose so he immediately transmitted a message to veins that if you vote for me, I’l win & ask for a lesser work load for you as you work very hard in circulating & returning blood to heart & even against the gravitational force which asks for lot of hard work & arteries get all the credit. Veins come into a senseless-trap of the brain & voted for the brain. TIE it is. 6-6. Hell! What to do NOW !

Brain comes with a suggestion & said, "Lets take a last vote. Just from 1 person. And that 1 vote will end all the debate. The vote will be given my……Chuck himself." The heart agreed.

"Are you guys kidding? I’m the one who organized this debate. How can I choose one from you,  idiots?”, questioned chuck.
"See, I agree that you’ve organized this competition as you wana see who is of more importance. So have a deep thinking, think of all the good & bad times, who has done more good for you ……decide accordingly…..either me or brain", said the heart.
"Yes chuck….we will keep working as we were…there is no doubt in that but give a thumbs up to one of us", said the brain.
"What a situation you’ve put me into you crazy little fuckers, okay I’l choose one from you. BUT, you both have to sell yourself to me….tell me instances of yours, one by one, when you were good for me then I’l decide whom to choose. We will start with the heart", played interestingly by Chuck !
"You remember your graduation last year… examinations…..subject phycis…which you hated so badly….a night before the exam I told you to study & not depend on chits. I’m glad you listened to me & studied hard all night long & passed. Happy for you", said the heart.
"Yeaa I remember but how can you forget the next maths exams when I studied as per you recommendation but I was blank there & my brain did the right thing chits from others, copied & got passed", said Chuck.
Now it was brain's turn & he came up with this....
"You remember that bloody fat drug-dealer, who tried to gave you the fake material….you were so high that day…had someone given you a pinch of salt u would have taken it quickly thinking of as a cocaine but I was there for you mate, I made u remember that a friend of yours told that never take material before checking….specially with that dealer", explained the brain.
"Ohh yahh I remember…..i slapped him twice for playing foul with me….then only he gave good great weed BUT I still curse that day when heart told me thousand of times that don’t do drugs, don’t take it, you’l be addicted & will finish your life but you insisted me on trying it once & again….how right the heart was that day", grieved Chuck.

“ I know you’ll oppose both of us, no matter what. What do you want? Be Frank”, said the sensible Heart.

"I don’t know why but I feels that IFF(well, it refers to If & only If), the heart & the brain be friends, it’ll be so beneficial", said Chuck.

There are times when we think about something & our mind says "no" but our heart says "yes" or vice versa. Infact, it happens most of the times. Have we ever imagined what if both, our mind & our heart says to go with it Or deny it ! People talk about enthusiasm & confidence & positive thinking, how this trait begins? Its begins when both our heart & mind be together, they say about the same thing, & it work wonders. The most important thing is that it is in our hands to make them believe that what we are thinking & what we are doing is so correct( in given circumstances). When a person will start believing this, life will become so easy, fruitful & enjoyful. So make your mind & heart on same grounds, make them think similar, if a heart agrees then be positive & make the mind agree too & go for it, your work will be a wonder !!

A sudden ambulance noise broke the aura of debate between the heart & the mind.

Chuck has been grabbed by the white uniform people who are from a reputated hospital. Chuck was yelling n shouting n trying to get rid of them but after few seconds he broke free & let those hospitality guys took the charge, may be cos’ his brain & his heart became friends & started thinking on similar grounds & said just let go yourself, it’s in your benefit only cos’ rehab is a good thing when you’re an drug addict.

Its day time & a quiet guy chuck was forcibly been taken to rehab, a drop of tear flows through one of his friends eye. There were 6 of them & wishing him luck for his rehabilitation though they were only responsible to call the ambulance. May be cos’ they so much care about their friend Chuck.

9 months later !!

Chuck is a drug-free guy, he is a tutor by profession. Apart from giving tutions, he inspire young students to not believe in materialism but be spiritual & be friends with your heart & brain !!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Brain Vs Woman

What a sunny day it was. Akash was waiting for his love in a lakeside restaurant with his brain & team, enjoying the super cool waves in the light sunlight to warm up the mood & thinking about the good times. There were smiles everywhere but it looks different on the face of Akash, sitting in a two-chair table, sipping a cold coffee & enjoying the nature.
"30 minutes late", his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5 mins. late & she had literally gobbled you up....remember??
"yeah yeah, " he said to his brain, "You know her brainy.....all moody & stuff....oh there she is...."
"Scold her okay", his brain advised.
"Ok I'll try."
Sweet Sheetal came with cutest smile & said "I'm sorry honey....i was shopping for shoes.....totally forgot about meeting, you know me na...."
"What if you had said that line buddy?" , shouted his brain....."she would have had nervous breakdown."
Akash ignored his brain....."Its ok honey....its only half n problem."
She smiled once again.....held his hand & asked "Hope you remember what occasion is today."
"Oh hell", thought Akash.
" database for reminder, anniversaries, silly anniversaries, birthdays & birthdays of people i don't care about."
Brain got into started delegating work to different parts......parallel processing....multiple search....complete memory scan !!

Sheetal stared at Akash, "Hello ! you've been staring at me for 2 mins. ok?"
"Huh !!" he said, "Oh nothing's wrong....was just lost in a thougt."
"No records found", said the brain.
"Damn", thought Akash.
"So what do we celebrate this day", asked Sheetal.
Akash is all confused...."ask her dumbo", said the brain.
"ok ok stop pushing me."
"Honey.... you know my lousy memory.....I guess i can't recall what today is"
"WHATTTTTTTTT !!", she shouted &....well, started crying.
"How can you forget !!....its my doggy's birthday"
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - a moment of silence.

His entire brain staff was laughing at him.
Akash was dumbfounded. " What the hell m i supposed to do know, christ", he asked his brain who was busy laughing at loud but at the same time trying to make his staff to stop laughing!
"Damaged control sequence initialized....don't worry our specialist will come back with a perfect line in this situation to make everything alright"
"Better do it fast, brainy."
The brain was working at 90% capacity....gathering & analyzing all data about "How to handle Women"
Finally an answer was computed & communicated to Akash.
He looked up to her, and said " Ofcourse i remember your doggy's can forget that sweet labrador's special day"
She looked up in utter surprise
"huh !!!!".....doggy is the name of my cat you jerk......crying, crying & crying.........

She stood up angrily & left !
Akash & his brain were left there clueless.

"Ah ! screw you guys, this is not done.....i'm going home", said his brain & left !!